I had appendicitis when I was around seven years old. My mom thought it was just a bit of constipation. A few gallons of prune juice and one horrific enema later, she took me to the emergency room and, lo and behold, that appendix had to come out IMMEDIATELY. No fault to her, she was dealing with six of us monsters, and generally at least one of us had a mysterious malady.
What I learned from that episode, not always to my benefit, is that you wait it out. You try and fix it yourself. You help yourself.
Years later, I waited a week to see a doc about an ankle that had seized up and it turned out to be a bone chip stuck in the joint due to extremely loose ligaments.
Another time it was waiting two weeks for a kidney infection that had me doubled over in pain, only to be cured 24 hours after finally going to the emergency room.
About three years ago I was hit again. This time by my age and my hormones. These hellacious hormonal episodes were all something I could handle, right? I would eat right, run, travel the world and it would all go away.
Yet it didn’t. It just got worse. And with all the usual suspects, hot flashes, night sweats and weight gain, came the depression. I fought back as fiercely as I could. Run, eat right, have adventures.
My hormones didn’t care. They hit me hard. I didn’t want to run. I wanted to eat ALL the pastries. I couldn’t sleep restfully and my mind was beginning to get befuddled.
I had stopped drinking almost 13 years ago in part to let the real me through. At that time I could look in the mirror and see me looking back. It took a long time for that to happen.
Now my hormones didn’t care about all the work I'd put in. When I look in the mirror I see a puffy face, circles under my eyes, flab invading my body and no spark. I was feeling as if I had lost sight of me again.
That's when I decided to ask for help. I made the appointment, saw the doctor and she prescribed a low dose anti-depressant. This may work, I may need a higher dose or maybe we try something else. But I know I can’t do it on my own.
Ultimately it really is helping yourself to ask for help. There is a strength in asking for assistance, that we all too often discount.
Don’t.
I discuss some of the beginnings of my depression and eating disorder here in Episode 6, Tall Tales with James Johnson of Freelance Writers School
What I learned from that episode, not always to my benefit, is that you wait it out. You try and fix it yourself. You help yourself.
Years later, I waited a week to see a doc about an ankle that had seized up and it turned out to be a bone chip stuck in the joint due to extremely loose ligaments.
Another time it was waiting two weeks for a kidney infection that had me doubled over in pain, only to be cured 24 hours after finally going to the emergency room.
About three years ago I was hit again. This time by my age and my hormones. These hellacious hormonal episodes were all something I could handle, right? I would eat right, run, travel the world and it would all go away.
Yet it didn’t. It just got worse. And with all the usual suspects, hot flashes, night sweats and weight gain, came the depression. I fought back as fiercely as I could. Run, eat right, have adventures.
My hormones didn’t care. They hit me hard. I didn’t want to run. I wanted to eat ALL the pastries. I couldn’t sleep restfully and my mind was beginning to get befuddled.
I had stopped drinking almost 13 years ago in part to let the real me through. At that time I could look in the mirror and see me looking back. It took a long time for that to happen.
Now my hormones didn’t care about all the work I'd put in. When I look in the mirror I see a puffy face, circles under my eyes, flab invading my body and no spark. I was feeling as if I had lost sight of me again.
That's when I decided to ask for help. I made the appointment, saw the doctor and she prescribed a low dose anti-depressant. This may work, I may need a higher dose or maybe we try something else. But I know I can’t do it on my own.
Ultimately it really is helping yourself to ask for help. There is a strength in asking for assistance, that we all too often discount.
Don’t.
I discuss some of the beginnings of my depression and eating disorder here in Episode 6, Tall Tales with James Johnson of Freelance Writers School
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